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| Before we get started, let me assure the few of you who sent emails wondering what happened to the Guru, that the Guru is fine, but lazy. So on to the worst films of 2009, most but not all of them "big" movies pre-sold by their titles, stars, or previous incarnations. |
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| The Worst Films of 2009 according to the Guru |
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| 1. Bruno - Sacha Baron Cohen's gross and offensive followup to his successful and funny Borat. Borat was an East European innocent in America revealing the clash between prejudice and political correctness. Bruno is an overtly disgusting inhuman being who cares not a wit for his foils or his fans. |
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| 2. X Men Origins: Wolverine - I already beat this film to death in Movie Guru May 2009. "I will not forgive the writers, producers, and director who mercilessly gun down the only two decent people in the film just for the thrill ('Hey, let's kill these old people. No one will expect it, and Wolverine can keep the motorcycle.')." |
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| 3. Angels and Demons - This is a poster child for worthless sequels. The Da Vinci Code was fun. But like most sequels, this movie eschews character in favor of action. The action in this movie is Tom Hanks always one step behind as defenseless Cardinals all over Rome are murdered one by one in the most sadistic ways. Be sure and bring the whole family to this PG 13 delight. |
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| 4. The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3. Failed remakes litter the landscape of movie history. Add this movie to the list. The original was a battle of wits between the droll good guy Walter Matthau and the intellectual bad guy Robert Shaw. This remake features good guy but former bribetaker Denzel Washington redeeming himself by chasing down with his borrowed popgun the automatic weapon armed psycho killer John Travolta. |
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| 5. Saw 6 - This sequel tanked because of the surprise success of Paranormal Activity, which was released at the same time. The entire series of Saw films (despite the ingenuity of the first) and the knockoffs that they have spawned are stains on our nation's honor. |
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| 6. Taken - You went to it, and then told your friends to go see it. You turned it into a surprise hit. You should be ashamed. This movie so sanitizes the international sex trade that Liam Neeson's turned out teenage daughter can return to her pop singer dreams days after being "saved." I don't mind enjoying guilty pleasures, but at least afterwards despise yourself for being "taken" in by the smarmy French producer and French director who made this film. That's right. I said French. Need I say more. |
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7. Twelve Rounds - This is neither a sequel nor a remake, but I have seen it hundreds of times before. The desperate hero is forced to jump through hoops by the mastermind villain in order to save his girlfriend, wife, daughter, mother. I assume this is the end result in the case of Twelve Rounds; John Cena saves his defenseless first love. I can't be certain because I walked out after round four. |
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8. The Box - Let's take a great Twilight Zone episode based on a concise and subtle Richard Matheson short story, expand it into a two hour overlong mess starring Cameron Diaz, and pray for a great advertising campaign. If you want to spend a really creepy night, rent this movie and Sam Raimi's "Drag Me to Hell," and watch them both as a double feature. If you survive, please send me a note from your padded cell and tell me what you think by clicking here. |
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9. Where the Wild Things Are - Who wants to beat up on children's movies? It kills me when serious movie critics write the pros and cons of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs. But this Spike Jonze adaptation of the Maurice Sendak children's classsic, underneath its trappings as a kid's movie, is just another Spike Jonze artistic foray into his own world of fantasy. As such I can say it is just one big bore. |
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| 10. The Twilight Saga: New Moon - Anyone who knows the Guru personally knew this was coming. I really tried to read the first book. And I sat through the first movie. It was low budget teenage angst with a few momentary insights into love between a teenage girl and her hundred years old vampire lover living in the form of a high school student. However this second in the series, this time big budget teenage angst without any insights but with the insertion into the action of a moonstruck topless teenage werewolf; this movie required the female touch of the original director Catherine Hardwicke. Instead the producers stuck themselves with Chris Weitz, he of "The Golden Compass" fiasco. |
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The Best Movies are coming next month.
Let the Movie Guru know what you think the best movies of 2009 were by clicking here |
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| Understanding XD |
Last October Cinemark and South Point partnered in a half million dollar plus upgrade of theater #10 which Cinemark calls XD Extreme Digital Cinema. Unlike IMAX which can play only IMAX formatted movies, every movie can play in XD. And there's the rub. With movies like Avatar 3D or 2012 or even Michael Jackson's This is It, XD is worth every penny of the premium admission price. But for movies like Brothers, which played in the XD theater as well as on non-XD screens, the choice is not so clear cut.
I will tell you that any movie seen in the XD theater at the South Point will guarantee you a magnificent moviegoing experience. I compare it to seeing a baseball game at Yankee Stadium versus seeing the game at Cashman Field. Cashman Field is more than adequate. Yankee Stadium is special.
I love seeing movies in the South Point XD theater. Even if I had to pay to see movies at the South Point, at night I would always choose the XD theater because the difference between the XD and non-XD evening admission price is minimal. However since there is no XD matinee discount, in the afternoon for a movie like Brothers, if I had to pay, I would probably choose the non-XD screen.
But I say this with one important proviso. If Brothers was a movie that I wanted to see very badly, even if I had to pay, day or night I would pay up to see it in XD which guarantees me the biggest screen, the best sound system, and the most comfortable seats in the building.
I really enjoyed Edge of Darkness in the South Point's XD theater. The movie is a simple mystery with moments of Mel Gibson action enthusiasm. The following link will send you to the best piece of writing I have found on paying up for the XD presentation of a non-thrill ride experience movie like Edge of Darkness. Revisiting Digital IMAX and Cinemark's XD Cinemas - Cinematical
This week South Point is opening Wolfman in XD. If you want to see it in the best presentation theater in Nevada, see it in XD at the South Point. Then please let me know what you think of the XD experience by clicking here.
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| Senior Ticket Special |
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| Super Bowl Halftime Show |
"Hope I die before I get old," is the seminal rock line of the Sixties written and performed by The Who in "My Generation," a song The Who did not include in their twelve minute Super Bowl halftime show medley.
With two original members dead from drug overdoses, aging members Pete Townshend and Roger Daltrey did not embarass themselves on the football field. In fact their performace would have to be considered more Drew Brees than Peyton Manning in the annals of Super Bowl halftime shows.
When Daltrey sang "Let's get together before we get much older," that pretty much summed up the performance for me.
Here's a link to a 1970 Who performance which includes all four of the original members. Enjoy it. YouTube Video |
